Sprinkle Joy

   The crapton of snow we just got last night makes me realize...holy crap, it's December!! Well, that, and the fact I want to fling myself off a bridge onto a plane heading somewhere, ANYWHERE southern. Everyone else is thinking about parties and booze and gifts & mistletoe & shit, and I'm just thinking about all of the error codes I'm gonna have to put down on my documents at work for the first 3 to 4 months out of the year because I'm derpy enough to not remember it's 2014. Also, for a smaller proportion of time, I'm thinking about resolutions.    There's some statistic (probably) saying that most resolutions are dead by the end of January, if not sooner. Well, obviously I do want to make some goals for myself, and I don't want them to be dead by January because what the hell is the point, then? Most resolutions are lofty, grandiose statements that are (probably) 50% goal & 50% "i want to impress the person who's asking me what ...

I'm not dead. I mean, obviously...you're reading this and I can assure you it's not FROM BEYONNNNND. Also check out my Facebook, Twitter, & Tumblr . I've been busy . (and by busy I mean I have been making a pretty solid dent on the couch) I just never feel like I have anything of worth to say. I have lots of little nuggets that get 3 likes on FB and liked by my cousin & one friend on Twitter (SHOUT OUT TO LINDSI & KRISTEN HAYY), but nothing of importance. I could write about how I'm also never on my computer anymore...mostly because it won't charge unless the nubbin for the port is in the EXACT right spot so parking it in front of the tee vee isn't so much an option anymore, but also because I have a smart phone. Finally, I have joined the technology age. Yes, I am 73 years old, actually. Other things I have been up to: Futzing around on my new phone. Things I hate about it: not able to text and drive as well (THANKS, APPLE), the fact that...

     Sometimes most of the time I think I'm a giant sack of crap with no skills.      And then weekends like this happen, when I actually pull some out of my ass. Thankfully, my mother is blessed with a large amount of artistic skill, and is one of the better genetic gifts she gave to me (other than my bitchin' sense of humor and perfect ankles). I can't really debate the fact that I've got artistic skill, I've got my own work up in the second bedroom, and I've got an embarassingly large amount of pencil drawings of Josh Groban throughout the house (one is signed, thank you) (I made sure he didn't see it because oh my god how creeper would that be) (parentheses). I'm just not very good with color.      I can shade in black & white for the rest of forever and blend like a champion, but throw some colors in front of me & I get all derpy & forget that yellow is a primary color & "oops I ran out of this color blue let's try t...

Well, things have been looking a little more on the yellow rather than grey side lately. =) And not yellow as in jaundice, but like sunshine, and lemon drops, and daffodils. I'm into yellow lately. Thank god one of the positive genetic rewards I got from probably my mom my parents is the skin tone to wear ALL of the colors. Obviously i meant this by all of the colors. That has nothing to do with what I wanted to post about. Mostly I want to post about hot guys--kind of most definitely copying/adapting from my pal Kristen over at  Murmurs and Rubs of Life . She's more consistent than I am, and she's a  hoot--so check her out. =) ANYWHO. My other pal Jen & I were on Tumblr the other day looking at, among other things, men who get our lady parts twitterpated. My type is tall, nerdy, skinny dudes that are mostly not part of the wide spread lady spank bank (always classy on this blog).  Without further ado, have some eye candy! Kirstie's Top 5 Hot Guys (who are...

It's hard to find the light when everything's so shitty. I think I only have 2 people in my life that have anything positive to celebrate right now. To quote The Fault In Our Stars, "Life is not a wish granting factory", but damn, it could grant more than turds and middle fingers sometimes. My life, specifically, is not bad right now. But everyone else close to me is just struggling to get through and that hurts me to the point of tears. My empathy is usually a very good trait I have but man...I can't get out of this funk because I can't help people. I want to just make it rain on all that need money, and I want to find the perfect job for people, and can't. And it hurts. I know that laughter makes things better but I can't muster up enough happiness to even get off the couch and go do my zumba class that i've been jonesing for all day let alone make jokes. I needed to get this off my chest as much as I can but let's be real, I'm not goin...

     So, I'm a giant douchecanoe. There's this chick I'm friends with who, when she's in a good mood, is super great and fun to talk to and I want to hang out and giggle and eat grilled cheese with her. But then when she's stressed, it's nooooot so happy fun times and I want to punch kittens. YOU WILL BURN.      This makes me a giant hypocrite.  Who am I to judge? I'm not the most confident person in the room. Due to this, I don't take compliments well. Sometimes people react negatively when you're like 'Yeah, I AM awesome at that.", so I tend to go for the "thanks...this and that and the other were wrong with it but I guess it turned out okay" direction. I suck at conversation starters, but for whatever reason, most people can get into a conversation where you're complaining about something, be it work, or the weather, or how this jackass cut you off in traffic and you gave him the finger and he made another obscene gest...

Quickie today cause I feel that i've been neglecting this little guy. I don't have anything really in order, so yet again, if you can't follow this, I promise, it's not because you have reading comprehension problems, it's the subject material. Ever feel like you wish you could push pause & change your settings like in a video game? Because thems is my feelings right now. I have a sinus cold which is spreading into my ears, which means I'll probably have an ear infection by my birthday (Thursday, if you are wondering. Extravagant gifts are welcome) and the pressure is making my teeth hurt, our apartment thinks we don't have renters insurance because our provider can't get their shit together and automatically collect our payment on time and then forgets to tell our office that Oh Yeah! They Paid!, so our office thinks we're gonna have to pay them 75 bucks for not having it (hahahahahahahah hint: no we're not), I have so much crap to do at w...

I KNOW. I DIDN'T EVEN POST IT ON FACEBOOK. THIS IS A SURPRISE FOR YOU WHEN I EVENTUALLY GET AROUND TO WRITING ANOTHER POST! And to those of you who check my blog every day...well congrats, i guess, your obsessive checking has paid off? But prepare to be disappointed, because I do not come bearing words of whining wisdom, but a link. Anyway, someone has made a post  saying what i've been trying to say for the last however many entries! Thanks to Buzzfeed, I don't have to find my own gifs, and try to muster together organization and things. Laziest blogger alive award goes to me. I find that I relate to pretty much all the late 20 things despite the fact I'm still technically in my early 20s. Does this make me old while being young? I'M A PARADOX, MOFFAT, WRITE ME IN (sorry...we marathoned a lot of Doctor Who today) Well...bedtime. I'll be sleep hungover tomorrow regardless (ADULTHOOD!), but I try to maintain a reasonable amount of time awake vs. sleeping...

     Sorry, to those of you who live and breathe my words of wisdom, that I haven't been blogging a whole lot lately. They say to write about what you know, and I am finding that the things I know are things that nobody else really cares about (other than my family and even that is shifty sometimes). I'm either a hipster, or really boring. I'm going to go with really boring, because even though I've got my big black frames and poor posture, and liked Josh Groban before he was cool and enjoy irony and converses & plaid & have a strong penchant for DIY & scarves...maybe I am a hipster. But a boring one. That was the general gist of this first paragraph, I think. Go with it. I like everything about this.  Is there a Hipster Anon meeting I can go to somewhere?      I was thinking about interview questions while at work the other day (what the hell else am I supposed to be doing? working? please). My number 2 hated question is "what hobbie...

    So I've been trying to ward off an illness for a few days, trying to avoid paying a copay & missing work. For whatever reason, I really avoid the doctor unless 1) I can't fix it myself or 2) it is a very concerning/painful thing. Last night I realized that this COULD be concerning thing lest I let it continue on, and despite my efforts, I can't fix it, so i shot an email to my manager saying I won't be in 'cause I'm sick. So here I am, sitting on crinkly paper, waiting for the doctor (but hey, look at me multitasking, writing my blog entry on my ipod). And I am racked with guilt.      Why?  I'm a natural worrier & guilt haver so I feel bad for calling in when I don't have the standard aches, barfing, or "I wish I was dead" feeling. But I DO have a real reason to be here now, so here's reasons why I shouldn't feel guilty for bailing on work today.  I have a legit illness. One would assume that that's a legit rea...

Probably I should work on being more consistent with this. Turns out, I can't really think of anything funny/mildly amusing when I'm in a mild depression. Just an FYI, to anyone who this isn't totally obvious to, being an adult sucks. Like, big time. Like, if I hear any child saying "i wish I was a grown up", I automatically want to slap the crap out of them. Because I'm an adult.  As far as I can remember, as a tiny wee lass, I only wanted to be 16. I was no fool! I just wanted to drive, and be taller, but still have my parents pay for everything (thank you, mother...). I don't recall ever wanting to 21, or 30, or 70. I think I was excited for college, but again, that's HARDLY being an adult. It's a slightly cooler version of high school, involving gratuitous amounts of booze and the ability to buy Oreos without having to ask. Reasons Why Being An Adult Sucks Harder Than A Dyson Bills. Seriously, who wants to pay for electricity or water? ...

  I am not a fitness buff. I am not pumped about going to the gym. I have always abhorred P.E. with the passion reserved for cult leaders and Beliebers. I would much prefer being fed cookie bites by Cody while having palm fronds waved in my general area. Therefore, I am a little beefier than I would prefer.    Our apartment complex, due to lack of a gym in any of the buildings, had a partnership with a local gym, and offered new members free membership & 1 free personal training session. I was bored, & figured I might as well try the training thing. I got sucked in, and that worked out extremely well for me--without even dieting, I lost 20 pounds. I was starting to feel pretty again. (I promise you, that last sentence sounds way sadder than it was. I think I'm pretty now, just with a little more insulation than I really need/want.)    Anyway, my trainer got canned, and I got poor, and the 20 pounds came back with friends.  Now, a normal pers...

Happy St. Patrick's day! I celebrated by staying in my pajamas all day, making a green meal, & eating a homemade shamrock reeses mcflurry made by my slave husband Cody. I am the picture of health AND glamour. Watch for me on the cover of Vogue Italia next month.      The day consisted of Bub & I finishing our 1000 piece puzzle and me looking up houses while lounging on the couch, while he did the laundry & played Skyrim. The puzzle only took us about a week and a half, and cost us not only precious coffee table/foot rest space, but my patience and sanity. Clearly, this kind of day would bother me, if today was opposite day. I mostly enjoy mundane activities. Like I said in my last post, I may be the most boring human alive. I don't know about the rest of you people, but I would rather lounge than go bungee jumping or something. Excitement is low down there on my lists of things that I need. I didn't even study abroad (although I have regrets...another po...

Oh geez..this blogger template is kind of intimidating. It's reminding me of an empty word document...am I back in school? OH GOD I DIDN'T DO AN OUTLINE. What is my topic? As of right now, I don't know. I don't cook so I can't really do a cooking blog, I don't work out, so that's shot...I'm literally the most boring person on the planet. This is a quality basis to start a blog out on. Maybe lists? I'm pretty much a champ at lists, and dark comedy. But as I've had a couple good mojitos, dark comedy isn't working right now, plus also my husband is playing Portal 2, and that is distracting me. I feel like I should have my life together, as I AM married, and just bought a new car. That is pretty much not the case. Most days I would much rather just pretend like I was 18, and play video games and sleep most of the day. Maybe go on a run but HAHAHA let's not kid ourselves. Blogs are not for half formed lies. I don't even feel like I...