Positivity: It's Obnoxious!

     So, I'm a giant douchecanoe. There's this chick I'm friends with who, when she's in a good mood, is super great and fun to talk to and I want to hang out and giggle and eat grilled cheese with her. But then when she's stressed, it's nooooot so happy fun times and I want to punch kittens.
YOU WILL BURN.

     This makes me a giant hypocrite.  Who am I to judge? I'm not the most confident person in the room. Due to this, I don't take compliments well. Sometimes people react negatively when you're like 'Yeah, I AM awesome at that.", so I tend to go for the "thanks...this and that and the other were wrong with it but I guess it turned out okay" direction. I suck at conversation starters, but for whatever reason, most people can get into a conversation where you're complaining about something, be it work, or the weather, or how this jackass cut you off in traffic and you gave him the finger and he made another obscene gesture at you so you rammed his car off the road, whatever. Nothing sucks more for me than awkward silence so I'll find something negative to latch onto just to have something to talk about. Normal people will talk about work, or hobbies, or things they like, but as I've had so many negative experiences talking about things I like (nobody knows about them, they make fun of me, et cetera), my pool of things to talk about is kiddie sized at best.

So, even though I do the exact same thing, her attitude bothers me so much that I've become a freakin' optimist just to counteract her acidic mood. I'm aggressively optimistic, though. My positivity usually comes out in a burst of rage which tends to stun and confuse attackers. This attitude does not extend to home though. I about hit Cody because he couldn't find the peanut butter (it was "hidden" behind one 6"x4"x1" guacamole mix packet). I'm bummed about my birthday. I wrote that giant emo post yesterday. Here I am, pissy that this woman is grey Eeyore cloud personified, but I'm the exact same cloud everywhere else. So dammit, I'm going to try to be aggressively optimistic everywhere. My birthday tomorrow might turn out like shit but there is goodness in every day. RETURN OF THE LISTS!!
"OH MY GOD LISTS! THAT WAS THE ONLY THING I CAME TO YOUR BLOG FOR! *weeping*"
THINGS KIRSTIE HAS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT TODAY, DAMMIT
  1. I've made it 24 years without breaking any of my body (Okay, 23.99 years. I've got 16 hours left until I'm ACTUALLY 24)
  2. I have made myself a bleeping excellent Pandora station (Chill radio)
  3. I am actually kind of cold in my apartment! I'm under a blankie!! (This is a big deal: The average temp in the WINTER in this hotbox is 80F. With the heat off.)
  4. I've lost somewhere between 10 & 15 pounds in the last couple months. =) Goal: 50lbs but I'm taking it day by day.
  5. I got to go to both my yoga & Zumba classes this week...last week was Memorial Day so no yoga, and I was dying last Wednesday so no Zumba. =(
  6. I didn't have a coughing/fainting fit at Zumba like I thought I might have.
  7. The bigger women that hog the back weren't at class tonight so I got to have the back row & drink my water after every song and not have to run up to the front and dance my way back to my spot.
  8. Mr. is making me my favorite birthday food: Fudge Sundae Pie. =)
  9. I think my ear finally popped so no ear infection! (fingers crossed, knock on wood, sacrifice a loved one to Ixchel, whatever)
  10. I got a lot done at work today, and I'm in a position that even though I have a lot of stuff to do, I can take a day off from my stuff and help other people in the room without getting behind. =)
  11. Our new internet is fast! We may not have TV anymore, but we've got speedy quick internet so YAY.
  12. I have all of my weekends booked this month with friends that want to hang out with me! This rarely happens, and I feel like a social butterfly. =)
  13. I made some bitchin' spaghetti squash and there was enough that I can have the leftovers tomorrow!
  14. I actually had enough material to make a substantial blog entry!
Plus all the other big stuff, like I've got Bub and my family and my general health and enough money to get by, blah blah blah.

Til next time, bloggies. 



Comments

  1. KrisJune 6, 2013 at 8:21 AM

    15. You made people smile and even giggle a little by reading your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lubdubologyJune 8, 2013 at 8:08 PM

    I do the same thing with compliments. And I can't seem to break myself of the habit. :/

    ReplyDelete

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