"*Cough Cough* I'm sick." "Boo, you whore."

  
 So I've been trying to ward off an illness for a few days, trying to avoid paying a copay & missing work. For whatever reason, I really avoid the doctor unless 1) I can't fix it myself or 2) it is a very concerning/painful thing. Last night I realized that this COULD be concerning thing lest I let it continue on, and despite my efforts, I can't fix it, so i shot an email to my manager saying I won't be in 'cause I'm sick. So here I am, sitting on crinkly paper, waiting for the doctor (but hey, look at me multitasking, writing my blog entry on my ipod). And I am racked with guilt.

     Why?  I'm a natural worrier & guilt haver so I feel bad for calling in when I don't have the standard aches, barfing, or "I wish I was dead" feeling. But I DO have a real reason to be here now, so here's reasons why I shouldn't feel guilty for bailing on work today.

1.  I have a legit illness. One would assume that that's a legit reason to take off, but apparently in my mind this is like lying to your mom about killing a man in Reno. Ease your mind, mother, I killed no man in Reno. Fairfield, yes. Reno, no.
2.  I didn't  know when my appointment was at the time. I have to call in an hour before I'm supposed to show up. As I usually saunter into work around 7:45ish, that means I have to call when I wake up (yes, I only give myself about 20 minutes to get ready in the morning. Need I remind you I weigh up dried crap for a living? I don't need to look like Halle Berry to weigh up poop). Since the clinic I go to doesn't open until 8, I didn't  know when they'd be able to squeeze  me in, thus, I couldn't  definitively say when I'd be in. Here's a hint: I just won't be in at all.
3. I deserve it. I worked 46 hours last week. If you'll notice, that is almost a full day of overtime. If I can't take a full day for a maybe 45 minute appointment, after that crap, then I should up & quit. 
   
4. I am not a fan of my job and i need a day to decompress. Currently I'm looking for another one. There are a variety of reasons why, but this is a big one: I'm writing a column about feeling guilty for calling in sick. Please. People have designated sick days (well I mean other than me...I'm using a personal day for this nonsense), I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for legit being sick. I don't know if this is just my nature or if this is a byproduct of my manager being a giant bag of dicks lately. All I know is I never used to have a problem switching days at The Pool,  or having C call in sick when at Walgreens. I've taken a couple "mental health" days on my time at my current job (ie: I sat on tumblr at 11am for a few hours in my jammies)& felt mildly guilty, but only because I wasn't sick, and used my best sick voice for it. This is legit, & irrational Kirstie needs to can it.

So here's to those of us working at places we kind of hate, with more irrational guilt than a room full of Catholics at the end of of a successful Mardi Gras. Mazel tov.