Growing Old Is No Excuse For Growing Up

Probably I should work on being more consistent with this. Turns out, I can't really think of anything funny/mildly amusing when I'm in a mild depression. Just an FYI, to anyone who this isn't totally obvious to, being an adult sucks. Like, big time. Like, if I hear any child saying "i wish I was a grown up", I automatically want to slap the crap out of them. Because I'm an adult.
 As far as I can remember, as a tiny wee lass, I only wanted to be 16. I was no fool! I just wanted to drive, and be taller, but still have my parents pay for everything (thank you, mother...). I don't recall ever wanting to 21, or 30, or 70. I think I was excited for college, but again, that's HARDLY being an adult. It's a slightly cooler version of high school, involving gratuitous amounts of booze and the ability to buy Oreos without having to ask.

Reasons Why Being An Adult Sucks Harder Than A Dyson

  1. Bills. Seriously, who wants to pay for electricity or water? WE'RE IN THE FIRST WORLD. This is should be free, and is also a giant rip in the pants.
  2. Rent. Thank you for charging me over 600 dollars a month for a 3.5 room apartment that I can't paint or nail anything into. I just love that the hallways either smell like a shady hotel, farts, or half rotten fish. Also, if I didn't have to pay rent, I could be buying way cooler stuff. like my fossil purse
  3. Groceries. Turns out, living means sustaining yourself, and as much fun as eating cookies & yogurt is, sometimes you need protein and vegetables, and that crap is EXPENSIVE. In leu with groceries, cooking provides sustenance. However, cooking takes time, and practically all recipes are for 4-6 people. Yes, I could divide by 2, but seriously, how do you divide 3/4 by 2? Don't answer me, I like to whine. Also, math.
  4. Saving money. Man, I bought so much stuff when I was in high school/ college because I didn't have to buy groceries, or pay for anything other than books. Now I'm like "ooo, bought a 5 dollar children's movie! First fun thing i've bought all month!" I reiterate, being an adult sucks.
  5. More Responsibility. Combine the above 4, and add work in. It sucks...I don't want to be responsible for other people's actions because other people suck.


Reasons Why Being An Adult Rocks

  1. Choosing your own food. Because screw green beans. Nobody ever died from NOT eating green beans. 
  2. More responsibility! It is nice to be trusted to do things other than color inside the lines.
  3. I can go to bed whenever I want. If I want to go to bed at 7 pm, I sure can. Ditto 3 AM. The only person that can get mad at me for a sleepy morning is myself.
  4. Cleaning may or may not have to happen. I clean when people come over...and that's about it. Disgusting? Maybe.
  5. Choosing what to watch on TV. No longer do I have to sit through Patriot games or Modern Marvels...unless I WANT to. Murder shows, DIY network, Archer, & Family Feud it is!
So...I may have phoned this entry in. I'm watching Archer, and drinking Cherry Coke...because I'm an adult! 

Comments

  1. KrisApril 1, 2013 at 7:34 PM

    You need more greens. Eat some broccoli then. Why are you still up? Past your bedtime young lady! And did you clean in your room or the bathroom lately, it's a mess! Get your stinkin feet off the furniture---born in a barn or something?! Get off that computer/phone and do your homework already! Better? Feel less growed up now? You're welcome. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KirstieApril 2, 2013 at 4:51 AM

      I HAD my broccoli! I had it 2 days in a rowwwwwwww!! I'll leave the door open if I want to, maybe I want to heat the outside! AND I don't HAVE any homework, I got it done 2.5 years ago!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHH *stomps back to bedroom*

      =)

      Delete
  2. UnknownApril 1, 2013 at 8:03 PM

    I also only clean when I have to right now, like the plumber is coming over tomorrow (one more thing that sucks big time about being an adult, that sewer problem, is now our problem...)or I can't remember when the last time I did it was...
    I'm still lingering in the 'semi-adult' glorified college era but homework sucks big time. I can't wait for the day I come home and don't have to study or do busy work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KirstieApril 2, 2013 at 4:50 AM

      I can tell you that being able to come home and lay on my face on the couch until I go to bed is literally the best thing about being done with college. =)

      Delete
  3. AnonymousApril 12, 2013 at 10:53 AM

    I enjoyed reading your thoughts while I sit in my HIGH SCHOOL classroom. I enjoy being an early adult at the time

    ReplyDelete
  4. lubdubologyMay 3, 2013 at 9:36 PM

    Buying your own food is the WORST. I shop at three different stores just to save a little money. Shit like this makes me want to learn gardening.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KirstieMay 3, 2013 at 9:40 PM

      Dude, at least you have a yard in which to garden! I have a shitty little deck that I'm fairly confident will crush the downstairs neighbors any second now. I'm growing my own basil...but that's about it. We need to learn container gardening!

      Delete

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