I Am Tired.


  • I'm tired of putting on a happy face when friends talk about their pregnancies.
  • I'm tired of cooing over babies, wishing they were my own.
  • I'm tired of getting bombarded by baby stuff in group texts. 
  • I'm tired of feeling like a money drain, a bad example of a woman.
  •  I'm tired of having my hopes up just to watch them fall when I have yet another anovulatory cycle.
  • I'm tired of having to write the same things over and over again because nothing has changed. 
  • I'm tired of being jealous.
  • I'm tired of shots and needles and alarms and appointments.
  • I'm tired of making Cody sad.
  • I'm tired of feeling like I'm running out of time.
  • I'm tired of avoiding pregnant women because when I'm around them too long I start to get really sad and then I end up going home and sobbing.
  • I'm tired of sad crying.
  • I'm tired of feeling like a shitty friend.
  • I'm tired of feeling like I have disappointed my family, my friends, and Cody.
  • I'm tired of having to go to therapy and not being able to tell her any good news.
  • I'm tired of being tired.
  • I'm tired of ruining evenings because I see a pregnant woman with 3 small kids who's yelling at the kids for being kids  and sobbing because I can't even have one.
I'm tired of being infertile.

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