Sprinkle Joy

It's hard to find the light when everything's so shitty. I think I only have 2 people in my life that have anything positive to celebrate right now. To quote The Fault In Our Stars, "Life is not a wish granting factory", but damn, it could grant more than turds and middle fingers sometimes. My life, specifically, is not bad right now. But everyone else close to me is just struggling to get through and that hurts me to the point of tears. My empathy is usually a very good trait I have but man...I can't get out of this funk because I can't help people. I want to just make it rain on all that need money, and I want to find the perfect job for people, and can't. And it hurts. I know that laughter makes things better but I can't muster up enough happiness to even get off the couch and go do my zumba class that i've been jonesing for all day let alone make jokes. I needed to get this off my chest as much as I can but let's be real, I'm not goin...

     So, I'm a giant douchecanoe. There's this chick I'm friends with who, when she's in a good mood, is super great and fun to talk to and I want to hang out and giggle and eat grilled cheese with her. But then when she's stressed, it's nooooot so happy fun times and I want to punch kittens. YOU WILL BURN.      This makes me a giant hypocrite.  Who am I to judge? I'm not the most confident person in the room. Due to this, I don't take compliments well. Sometimes people react negatively when you're like 'Yeah, I AM awesome at that.", so I tend to go for the "thanks...this and that and the other were wrong with it but I guess it turned out okay" direction. I suck at conversation starters, but for whatever reason, most people can get into a conversation where you're complaining about something, be it work, or the weather, or how this jackass cut you off in traffic and you gave him the finger and he made another obscene gest...

Quickie today cause I feel that i've been neglecting this little guy. I don't have anything really in order, so yet again, if you can't follow this, I promise, it's not because you have reading comprehension problems, it's the subject material. Ever feel like you wish you could push pause & change your settings like in a video game? Because thems is my feelings right now. I have a sinus cold which is spreading into my ears, which means I'll probably have an ear infection by my birthday (Thursday, if you are wondering. Extravagant gifts are welcome) and the pressure is making my teeth hurt, our apartment thinks we don't have renters insurance because our provider can't get their shit together and automatically collect our payment on time and then forgets to tell our office that Oh Yeah! They Paid!, so our office thinks we're gonna have to pay them 75 bucks for not having it (hahahahahahahah hint: no we're not), I have so much crap to do at w...