I Am Tired.
I'm tired of putting on a happy face when friends talk about their pregnancies. I'm tired of cooing over babies, wishing they were my own. I'm tired of getting bombarded by baby stuff in group texts. I'm tired of feeling like a money drain, a bad example of a woman. I'm tired of having my hopes up just to watch them fall when I have yet another anovulatory cycle. I'm tired of having to write the same things over and over again because nothing has changed. I'm tired of being jealous. I'm tired of shots and needles and alarms and appointments. I'm tired of making Cody sad. I'm tired of feeling like I'm running out of time. I'm tired of avoiding pregnant women because when I'm around them too long I start to get really sad and then I end up going home and sobbing. I'm tired of sad crying. I'm tired of feeling like a shitty friend. I'm tired of feeling like I have disappointed my family, my friends, and Cody.